Thursday, April 06, 2006

Driving My Wife to Drink

This week marked fifteen years for me and my wife as a couple. And as of this week I can now say that I've driven my wife to drink.

Coffee, that is. Up till now she has resolutely refused to join me in the crack-den of coffee drinking despite all my wooing and enticing, despite the alluring smell of Southern Pecan wafting through the morning air in our house. The best part of my waking up has held no great attraction for her.

Until this week, that is. This week a client marched into her office, shoved into her hands a styrofoam cup of 7-11 French Vanilla cappucino mixed with decaf drip-brewed coffee, and ordered her to drink it. She complied, and instantly became a coffee groupie.

Since then she's been to 7-11 several times. I've driven her there once. I'm hoping to raise her standards over time, but at the very least, for our next fifteen years we can exchange the knowing glances that coffee drinkers exchange whenever milk is steamed.

Here's what Robert Banks says in The Complete Book of Everyday Christianity about coffee drinking:
Coffee is more than a beverage. . . . Coffee is a universal language, a
kind of multiracial, multilingual, multicultural Esperanto enjoyed by people
of all ages.

If you're a coffee drinker, please take a moment to welcome my wife into our global village.

7 comments:

Craver VII said...

Wow, this is big, Mrs. Z! This is like Whats-His-Face discovering the Matrix or something! And I'm happy for you and everything... but be careful of chasing the next big thrill with Dave. Don't let him talk you into nasty stuff like chewing tobacco. And Dave, this doesn't have any strings attached, right? I mean, she isn't going to make you learn swing-dance, right?

Well, may you both enjoy the same kind of coffee together. At my home, I like it strong... when the spoon stands straight up in the coffee cup and my wife is quite happy with what I refer to as "dirty water."

This kind of thing has great potential for you two as you continue to date each other. You DO continue to date each other, right?

Ah, well. May your beans be freshly ground and the cup never go cold.

Macon said...

7-11 Coffee: The Gateway Drug.

Dan Webster said...

My wife has also joined the CDA (coffee drinker's association) - even though she only has the occasional foo-foo coffee. I suppose it shouldn't even be called coffee. Let's see if I remember what she likes to order (and it's only from Starbucks)-

"I'd like a tall Mocha, skim, decaf, extra hot, no whipped cream"

What? How about - "I want a cup of coffee"

Anyhoo, welcome to the CDA Mrs. Z! May you never drink the grounds. (It happened to me once... not the most pleasant experience)

Kami Rice said...

Haha...I don't know if I exactly qualify as a coffee drinker, according to dan webster's standards anyway, but I am most definitely a coffee maker...of the Starbucks variety. The best part of coffee is the community that can come with it...if you visit places where people stay for a while after they get their coffee. Welcome to the coffee club, Dave's wife (I'd insert your name if I knew it ;-) )!

Margaret Feinberg said...

now that is one way to make a convert. Glad she's in the club... :)

scott said...

Welcome to our ranks, which include luminaries such as U.S. Grant, Napoleon, Bach, Voltaire, and Kant, who said, while fretfully waiting for the servant to bring a cup, "well, one can die, after all; it is but dying; and in the next world, thank God, ther is no drinking of coffee and consequently no waiting for it."
-courtesy, Book of Lists
Scott

Pete Juvinall said...

Here's the thing: if your high standards are 7-11 coffee it recalls a C.S. Lewis quote about children being content to play in mud :).

Finding a good Barrista is like shooting a fish in a barrel near D.G. if I remember correctly. I don't know about you all, but I would shun the corporate Starbucks trend and find a local place.

Anyway, have fun, and always remember that whoever findeth a Cafe Breve findeth a good thing...or something.