Monday, July 17, 2006

Spam of the Day

Here's a good one:

From: Madam Rita Mosley.
4 Old Church Street, Chelsea, SW3, England.
Here writes Madam Rita Mosley, suffering from
cancerous ailment. I am married to Sir David
Mosley an Englishman who is dead. My husband
was into private practice all his life before
his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted
for three decades without child. My husband died
after a protracted illness. My husband and I made
a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the
less-privileged individuals as he had passion
for persons who can not help themselves due
to physical disability or financial predicament.
I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child
from this relationship, which never came.
When my late husband was alive he deposited
the sum of 2.45 Million (2.45 Million Great
Britain Pounds Sterling which were derived
from his vast estates and investment in
capital market with his bank here in UK.
Presently, this money is still with the Bank.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I have
limited days to live due to the cancerous
problems I am suffering from. Though what
bothers me most is the stroke that I have
in addition to the cancer. With this hard
reality that has befallen my family, and me
I have decided to donate this fund to you
and want you to use this gift which comes
from my husbands effort to fund the
upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans,
destitute, the down-trodden, physically
challenged children, barren-women
and persons who prove to be genuinely
handicapped financially. I took this decision
because I do not have any child that
will inherit this money and my husband
relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy
persons and I do not want my husband's
hard earned money to be misused or
invested into ill perceived ventures.
I do not want this money to be
misused hence the reason for taking
this bold decision. I am not afraid of death
hence I know where I am going. I do not
need any telephone communication
in this regard due to my deteriorating
health and because of the presence of my
husband's relatives around me. I do not
want them to know about this development.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall
give you the contact of the bank in UK.
I will also issue you a Letter of Authority
that will empower you as the original
beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is
that I lived a life worthy of emulation.
Please assure me that you will act just as I
have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon.
You can contact me through my personal
email address: mamrita_mosley@walla.com
Madam Rita Mosley


If you'd like another outlet for your hard-earned money, however, I learned this weekend that the Lombard/Villa Park Hurricane Relief project is looking for funding to install two houses being built in Illinois and shipped to the gulf coast. Working with Habitat for Humanity International, we completed building the first one last Saturday in what was supposed to be a three-day project (on the hottest day of the year, I might add), so they're adding another house. But it costs money, so I figured I'd run it up the Loud Time flagpole and see who responds. Send checks to Lombard/Villa Park Hurricane Relief, 220 S. Main, Lombard IL 60148.

Whichever path you choose to follow, however, please promise me one thing: don't let those bourgeois pigs get hold of your money!

4 comments:

Mr Steve said...

At least spam is good for new aphorisms.

Guys, next time your wife or girlfriend insists you stop and ask for directions, just say "I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.". How can they argue with that?

David A. Zimmerman said...

Here's more information on the Hurricane Relief project:

http://www.ohdhouse.org/index.html

Mr Steve said...

Calling Zimmerman!

We're holding out for a hero!

Anonymous said...

Miss Rita Mosley is a CHEAT

MICROSOFT AWARD TEAM
Microsoft Corporation
#1 Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052.

Ref: BTD/931/07
Batch: 501729M
Email:thapars@gmail.com

ATTN:Saryu Thapar,

Thank you for the email correspondence sent to me and aslo for calling to notify me.I have called the director general of the British Inland Revenue Mrs Rita Mosley following the notification by Mr Jonathan and as i spoke with her i was made to know that due to security reasons,strict scrutiny was imposed on all international deliveries and as the case of your parcel which was on course to your location{India},they have to confirm that you,the rightful winner and owner of the cheque must claim beneficiary of the cheque and obtain a certificate that will help facilitate the release of your cheque to Mr Jonathan for onward delivery to India.The certificate will serve as pass for Mr Jonathan,the despatch manager of the courier company through the customs.So i will advice that you make immediate contact with the British Inland Revenue so you will be informed on any requirements for the release of your winning.
Do so now and let me know what was reached and how we can resolve the situation,i will be available to assist you with whatever is demanded,for proof of ownership although i have clarified her that you are one of our winners.
I will be waiting for your response.

Sincerely,
Mr.Phillip Hall
TEL#:+44 701 113 5855
Microsoft Promotion Award Team
Head Winning Claims Dept..